I was raised believing that confidence is something that comes from within.  One doesn’t need to talk about accomplishments or strengths, one doesn’t need to toot one’s horn; one doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Thus it came as a surprise to me when someone asked why it is that I don’t seem to give myself the credit I rightly deserve for all that I have accomplished?

I have thought long and hard about this in the past week…

Because, because I did all the things I have done because I didn’t have a choice.  Oh, I mean I had a choice, I just didn’t consider any other choice.  I moved forward.  I trusted myself.  I did what needed to be done.  

Isn’t that what everyone does?

That is the way I have always lived my life, so the idea that the current crisis would ask me to choose differently continues to puzzle me; and yet, I do see that I don’t give myself credit for things I do.  I no longer give myself the acknowledgement that I could for the strength that I have or the choices I have made.  

I find myself struggling to find myself in general – instead I am caught comparing myself to another.  I know I am doing it, I recognize that it does me no good and isn’t healthy, and yet it is easy for me to pretend that I am less a person if I believe that person to be more.

As I write here, I am going to toot my horn.  I am going to stand up and say – I am HERE!!  I am not only here but I have a voice, a spirit, and a presence.  No one can take that away from me!!