My feelings and emotions are not always pretty.  They are not always about love and balance but are sometimes about anger and fear.  They are messy and require  my attention but not so much attention that I  lose track of the moment or today or what is important in life.  

I find myself in the shower thinking.  Thinking about things that really aren’t healthy or beneficial.  Thinking thoughts that will create the mood for the next few hours if I am not careful.  

I find myself saying, as loudly as I can in my mind… “Enough” “That is enough!”  

And sometimes it works.  Sometimes the thoughts disappear  down the drain on a current of water.  

It is two steps forward and one step back.  It is dealing with the ideas and the notions that people make choices that are not about me and yet effect me all the same.  It is about looking at fear and self centeredness and trying to come to terms with the idea of sending love and detaching as much as possible.  

It isn’t pretty; it is messy; and it is necessary.